Stuffed Nose? I have the solution...

Don't you just love it when you encounter problems and people are there to provide you with solutions?

Stuffed Nose? No problem, just stick your head into the freezer then breath in from your nose and out from your mouth. Stuffed Closet? No problem, just move your husband's clothes out of his closet and put your stuff inside. I am sure he won't mind. Stuffed Wallet? No problem, just give it to the hubby during the PC show. I am sure it will be unstuffed in no time.

But this post is not about people with solutions. Rather, this post is about people and their non-solutions. What are non-solutions? They are basically solutions that sound like solutions but do absolutely nothing to help your situation. Perhaps non-solutions are born out of good intentions, (or maybe they are just born out of kaypohness or the need to feel less guilty after you gloat at someone's misfortunes) but when you are caught in a rut, when you are stuck in the bottom of that emotional valley, non-solutions will seem like big rocks rolling down that valley.

Another characteristic of a non-solution is that unlike solutions, you don't have to ask for them, they will come looking for you. Need some examples?

It's Chinese New Year. You are sitting in the corner of your in-laws house, eating your gua1 zi3, minding your own business when suddenly Auntie 3 and Granny 6 surrounds you. Granny 6 asks you "when are you having children?" Auntie 3 reaffirms "My Ah Girl already have 3. Better start now." Maybe I didn't get the memo but when did child bearing become a race or a competition?

Then the barrage of non-solutions begins. You should go home earlier, don't play outside so much. (Duh, I go home straight after work everyday, even on saturdays and sundays). You got try talking to your wife or not? (Sex Education 101: Talking does not give you kids! Holding hands does.). You got go doctor and check whose problem it is or not? (You can make children by finger pointing? well, it depends on which finger I decide to use). Don't worry, You keep trying sure will get one. Don't give up ok? (Did we say we want kids in the first place?)

With that said, I think the solution to non-solutions is emphathy. Before giving solutions/ non-solutions, maybe you should hold back for 1 second and consider what the receiver needs. Does he really need comforting words or advice from you? Or maybe all he needs is a should to cry on, a pair of listening ears, a pat on the back and a mouth that is firmly closed?